THE DYNAMICS OF COUPLES

In our couples therapy, there are four in the room. The two of you, your relationship and the therapist.

TAKING A MULTI-THEORY APPROACH

Each partner, just like each relationship, is unique. Your partnership is as dynamic as you are; composed of compromises, collaborations, collectivism and conflict. In couples work, it can be effective to work together using a multi-theory approach that combines aspects of family systems and object relations theories, narrative therapy practices, and psychodynamic theoretical approaches. Together, we will be thoughtful about understanding what ways of working together will be most beneficial for our goals.

A MICROSCOPE AND A TELESCOPE

Together we will explore the histories, joys, fears, senses and goals of each of you - including the relationship itself. By utilizing this perspective, we can embrace and honor the fluidity of the partnership. Assessing and accepting these aspects of a couple's relationship means we can use both a microscope and a telescope simultaneously to see, decipher and repair the dysfunction.

IT'S NOT ABOUT "FIXING"

We will not start our work together assuming something is "broken" in the relationship but instead identify what burdens it. In all relationships, individuals come together to create a collective experience. Sometimes that experience can become blurred by expectation, assumption, conflict, miscommunication or blame. We will work to bring focus and clarity to the individuals that make up the partnership, shifting our perspective toward increased insight, clearer truth and opportunity for change.

Couples therapy is often utilized as a frantic salvation. That tactic isn't always successful. What is more effective than a last resort is a thoughtful intention to increase the partners' attunement to each other. We won't "fix" anything, because that is a flawed objective. We will instead refocus awareness, understanding, communication and interactivity in order to increase how each of you see the other, the relationship and how you communicate. 

Customized formats are also a part of my approach. We may find great benefit in incorporating occasional individual sessions for focused work in a thematic area of concentration in order to support the collaborative conjoint process of couples therapy. I also typically endorse consultation with partners’ individual therapists where appropriate toward our collective clinical goals.

Contact me at Andrew@AimPsych.com or reach me by voicemail at (310) 954-1560.

Aim Psychotherapy is a private practice mental health collective of therapists devoted to working with men who are ready to challenge themselves, face themselves and express themselves — to heal, ask, answer, change, grow, learn, mend what hurts, amplify what is working and eradicate what isn’t. Regardless of gender within the couple, our approach to couples work doesn’t seek to pathologies the male partner; instead it seeks to draw out and undergird the qualities that already lie within to support deeper nurturing and understanding in the dynamics of the relationship (with himself and within the dyad of the union).